JimSoft Insanitarium -> Insane Stories -> All Mu
Cool
By Lemur
"Mu cool!" I screamed with Gay Abandon. Frankly gay wasn't the best screamer so
I decided to leave him be and walk towards the tree. There is only one tree is
town known as "The Tree" and that is "The Tree". As I approached "The Tree" I
was surprised to find hungry leprechauns urinating on its trunk. I immediately
asked "HOW THE HELL DID I KNOW YOU WERE HUNGRY?!" to which they replied "I am,
you scare me, grrrrrrr" in a Leprichaunisitc accent. I ran screaming from them
screaming. So obsessed with my runnage was I that I slammed right into Gay
Abandon, who was still screaming "Mu Cool!". Gay promptly stopped screaming me
and asked what was the matter. I held up the matter and said "It looks like a
plank of wood to me" To which I struck him in the face with it. "Whats it look
like to you?" I asked as he lay there bleeding in Pain. I loved being in Pain,
it was the biggest little horse manure processing town this side of Ecstasy.
Frankly Ecstasy didn't appeal to me, all those people with their parking meters
and thinking they were too good to eat my pickled ham sandwich. Promtly I
changed direction and headed for Ecstasy.
"I'm in ecstasy!" I exclaimed as the prostitute hopped off. "NO, You're still in
pain" she said before apologizing for knocking me over. I got up, brushed myself
off and pondered weather or not Coca Cola was 'The Real Thing' and if everything
else was fake. I promptly stopped pondering this as I somehow arrived in
Ecstasy. I clapped and screamed "I AM IN ECSTASY!" to which some people clapped
and some tried to hurt me with big pieces of wood. I immediately set out to find
somewhere where I could purchase fuel, cigarettes and a coffee mug. I scanned
the plaza for a store called "Cigarettes, Fuel and Mugs 'R' Us" but found
useless shops like "Fuel is me", Ciggies and Mugs 4U" and "Lemonade arcade". I
sat down and decided to ponder the situation. After "Pondering the situation"
for a few minutes I was arrested. Apparently you aren't allowed to "ponder the
situation" in public. I offered to refer to it as "Slapping the salami" or
"Buying some apples" but the security guard would have none of it. He told me if
I ever tried to urinate on a small "Banana's in Pajama's" toy again he would
have to have me arrested. Again. I cried and decided to leave Ecstasy for Pain
again.
I came to the final obvious conclusion: Ecstacy is nice, but if you urinate on a
small banana you will suffer pain. But Pain is nice, it has a tree and people
can run about with Gay Abandon, Play Poker With Gay Abandon and even make love
with Gay Abandon. The last is Optional, and seeing Gay is a 7'2 450 pound
Swedish rubgy played who is clinically insane I wouldn't suggest the latter or
referring to him as "Gay; The Ugly 7'2 Swedish rugby player who has a secret
fetish for inkjet printers" But that's just me.
©
2003 JimSoft