JimSoft Insanitarium -> Insane Stories -> Hyperactive Chicken
By CrazyJim

A hyperactive chicken approached me once while I was walking along the main street of somebody's house. It spoke of many things, but the only words I caught were "and then." I was quite annoyed at this, as I didn't have any money. If I had have had some money I would have been able to say something stupid, but I didn't so I didn't. I kept walking to where I was heading, only this time in the opposite direction. I passed several people along the way who told me to stop kicking them. I had no idea what they were talking about and continued flinging my legs from left to right as I walked.

By now I was hungry, so I crossed the road. Halfway I decided to turn back, but then, after almost hitting a car for the third time in a row, I spun around and sprinted into a stationery vehicle which was stopped at the traffic lights. I yelled and everyone looked. I laughed and kept walking and tripped on the curb. My arm hurt for days afterward and I had developed the habit of yelling the phrase "I'm really really hungry" in peoples' faces during conversations and it didn't wear off until some months before.

The light turned green, but I couldn't see it so it made no difference and just added an extra line to the story so it looked longer. I kept walking at the same speed as the person in the shop windows on the opposite side of the road. I tried desperately to walk faster than him, but every time I sped up or went behind a car, he did too. "ASSHOLE!" I screamed at him. Everyone looked again. I turned left and walked into the water a few kilometers to my right.

I was getting to be extensively bored and realizing this I stopped walking. I jumped and jumped but nothing happened, so I kept walking backwards and hit an old lady. She bashed me over the head with her wheely-cart thing, screaming "help! Help!!" at the top of her lungs. Then she had a heart attack and seeing an opportunity to flee, I stood there. She climbed to her feet and belted me one more time. I pulled out a gun and shot at her. Little did I realise that, firstly I was shooting in the wrong direction and secondly there was a police officer in the line of my fire. He shot me back and it hurt somewhat. Some clouds appeared out of nowhere and then the lady belted me again. The officer did so, too.

I ran away and was never seen again until tomorrow. When I came back, I started talking to my friend who was really special 'cos only I could see him. Then he ran away and started hitting people only they didn't realize because they couldn't see him so they kept limping on one arm when they had been hit in the head several times.

Well, this was just one time this happened, and it never happened again until the next time it happened which was never, so I won't write about it and I'll stop writing about now I think, but now that I think about it I realize it would be stupid to stop there, so I'll stop here.

Then I'll write:

The End

But then again I might not.

© 2003 JimSoft