JimSoft Insanitarium -> Insane Stories -> Frustration
By CrazyJim

I was irritated beyond the limits of irritation I'd ever experienced before. I started screaming, "I can't stand the sound of that noise!" To my right, for ten whole minutes, a buzzing noise came from something which I couldn't see because I was looking in the opposite direction. I had tried negotiating with it, talking to it and yelling at it, but nothing seemed to work. I had contemplated throwing water on it, running away from it and poking it, but hadn't found the courage to put any of my plans into action. Even if I wanted to follow them through, I wouldn't be able to because my hand was stuck to the ground underneath my foot as I continued a previous plan of standing on my hand to cause the buzzing noise to submit. It hadn't worked yet, so I kept at it.

I had dealt with annoying things before: My squeaky desk chair, a walking stick which belonged to an old guy I met down the street, and all but one of my mugs that wouldn’t respond when I talked to them. But this time I couldn’t throw the thing that was annoying me out my car window at pedestrians—it wasn’t something I could run at and grab, instead it was an annoying sound that I couldn’t see.

I clenched my hands, causing damage to the sofa I was sitting on a few minutes ago with my foot. The phone started ringing. This irritated me more, so I yelled at it to stop. It continued. This made me angry. “SHUT UP!!” I yelled, this time at nothing in particular as I was at the state where everything irritated me—the clock ticking, the sound of the wind outside, my breathing, the guy standing outside looking at me like I was some kind of freak. Everything.

I started throwing knives at my kitchen window, but soon found that I didn’t have one. This enraged me further so I ran straight to the front door. Unfortunately, there was a wall in the way. I started yelling at the wall. It started yelling back. At least, I thought it did until I realised it was me, so I yelled back.

It was a few hours later. I had somehow made my way to someone’s backyard. It looked quite a lot like my own. In an attempt to find my way home, I made my way to the back fence and climbed over it. I ran as fast as I could, but wasn’t going anywhere. I had become stuck on the fence halfway through climbing over it and had fallen and was now trying to walk downward into the ground. The strange part was that I had actually progressed ten cenitmetres.

Startled, I ran in the opposite direction. It didn’t do any good so I continued. Suddenly, it hit me—a kettle I had tried yesterday to hang on my fence by the spout. It hurt. At the same time, I realised something.

“Woah! I must have been moving extremely fast! I’ve come back to where I’ve started and it’s only been a few seconds!”

Feeling a strange sense of pride, I stood up and fell over and walked inside and fell over. I made my way to the kitchen and opened my fridge and fell over. Yelling at the fridge, I woke up on my kitchen floor. I saw a bright light coming closer and closer.

“Oh no! I’m dead! I’M DEAD!”

The light came closer and closer. I soon realised it was my kitchen light, after it hit me.

“It was only a dream! Except for the bright light bit… that hurt” I said, not rubbing my head.

I now decided to go to my computer and start writing about what happened. Soon, after less than one page I got to the point where I was describing what I had typed on the computer. I had repeated the same thing five times when I accidentally selected everything after the end of the first part where I started repeating myself five times and accidentally deleted it. That’s why it’s not here.

By this point, I was laughing hysterically at the buttons on the top of the screen which were moving around in circles. I looked down at the bottom of the screen and found that the time was a couple of blurry numbers. I yelled at them and then laughed at what I said and then laughed at my laughing and then laughed at something that I found funny.

I typed a sentence after typing the previous paragraph. It would have turned out differently if I didn’t change it so many times. My left hand had decided to attach itself to the backspace key and kept backspacing what I was typing. This was irritating so I started laughing and talking to some guy I found to my right bashing his head on the opposite side of the mirror in front of me. I laughed at him more and then fell unconscious. I woke up and found I’d typed a really long paragraph, but that was after this part so it doesn’t matter any more, so it’s not worth not ignoring, so don’t ignore it unless you think it’s worth ignoring and laughing at and talking to people about things that never happened like what I wrote here only different.

Or not.

© 2003 JimSoft