JimSoft Insanitarium -> Insane Stories -> Away From Home
By CrazyJim

After being evicted from a conversation with my fence, I began to climb the tree which stood in the middle of my yard. Unfortunately, I found that I was on the opposite side of my fence to my tree and therefore outside of my yard, so my attempt to climb the tree was in vain.

At this I became rather annoyed. It seemed like only yesterday I was on the other side of the fence, enjoying the taste of the recently redecorated hallway walls and laughing at people who walked past the front of my house. But those days were over now. I spent my days staring aimlessly into open bedroom windows and gnawing on peoples’ legs as they attempted to hit me for some reason.

It soon dawned on me that unless I ran out in front of the car that was passing me at that moment I would continue my life in a rather healthy manner. Losing no time, I quickly rushed at the car. Then something amazing happened. The car hit me and I became unconscious.

I awoke to hawks tearing at my limbs. I stood up to find several people taking photographs of me. After spending five minutes taking pictures of me from every angle imaginable, they ran back to my house and started laughing at me.

I started laughing with them and they lost interest. I continued laughing. Soon somebody walked up to me and asked me for my name. I turned around to answer but found they weren’t there. I was startled as somebody tapped me on the shoulder. I spun around to find the person I was talking to several seconds ago.

I quickly excused myself as I stepped in front of a car, parked on the opposite side of the road.

© 2003 JimSoft